I taught Calm Mum yesterday and as usual, I am exhausted today. I love Calm Mum, I love the science of being calm, the way the central nervous system works, the science of epigenetics and the energy of the women that come to my class.
The class itself always amazes me. The energetic fit of each class astounds me. Yesterday every single woman in the class was an educator. From kindergarten to university level. These women are also mothers themselves and they spend every moment of their working days with other people's children. Holy shit that is hard. And amazing.
The women that come to Calm Mum want to change things. They want to learn. About themselves, about their children, about their partners, about relationships. They want to facilitate calm at home. They want calm in their bodies, in their hearts.
We talk a lot about the pursuit of perfection in the class. About what it is, why we strive for it, why we introduce ourselves as perfectionists. We cry. We deconstruct the labels, the stories, the judgments attached to us. By others. By ourselves. We look at how we describe and treat ourselves and how that affects the family we have. How the cog in the wheel is left to turn when we are hard on ourselves.
We tell stories. We script out scenarios. We cry. We have light bulb moments. We ask the same question, in different ways, until we, as adult learners, understand. We hold space. For ourselves, for each other.
We knock down the walls of isolation we feel. We talk about death. We investigate how birth impacts and affects us. We learn about human development and the capacity of the brain. The wirings and firings of the brain. Neural pathways. Trauma. Being trauma informed.
We push around the beliefs we have about this human experience of mothering. We throw out outdated notions, beliefs, authoritarian musings and replace them with authoritative methods. Methods based on what would work for each family.
We look at each other at the end of class, notes written, workbooks ready to go home and remember that the introduction at the beginning of the class told us we wouldn't remember half of what we talked about and we may be exhausted for two to three days. Because this is emotional work. This is forgiving work. This is important work. Because emotions are everything. In a world very uncomfortable with emotionality, Calm Mum cuts to the heart of it. Safely. With love. We open ourselves up, lay our hearts on the floor and with each new revelation we piece ourselves back together. With understanding, with love, with forgiveness and with hope.
So my full heart, laden with the experiences of other women and families will keep me weighted in reality. I will carry their stories and offer them support in follow up with the class. With love and gratitude. xoxo